Do you have Realistic Expectations for your Next Relationship?

08/25/2014

two people holding handsEverybody has expectations when going into a new relationship or while seeking a new relationship. You may even keep a list of your needs and wants, something that you can’t live without and other things that you prefer. Your list might be a mental list, such as only dating blondes or only wanting someone tall.

Whatever your preferences are, you may need to stop and think about if your expectations are realistic. What would you do if you met someone you completely meshed with, but they are shorter than you were hoping? Would you stay open-minded or would you pass since they didn’t meet your expectation? Here is a guide to see how realistic you are keeping your expectations.

Reasonable Expectations

Your mental or written list of needs is reasonable if you need things, such as:

  • Someone that is exciting to be around
  • Someone with similar relationship goals
  • A spark emotionally, physically or mentally
  • Someone with similar views of the world

These are justifiable needs in a partner that you could spend a lot of time with. If they are looking for something casual while you want something long-term, it wouldn’t make sense. If you have different religious or political views, you may not get along as well. Even though, you may be physically attracted to them, if you don’t share similar views on certain things, you may not be the right match.

Unreasonable Expectations

How do you determine if your expectations have become unrealistic or should be considered more of a “want” rather than a “need?” Here are some clues that your expectations are over the top:

  • You want someone that has a certain appearance, height, or weight
  • You want someone that lives within a 10 minute drive for convenience
  • You want someone that makes a certain amount of money
  • You want someone that has a certain career

How to make my list more realistic

You should take notes on what qualities really matter to you most in a mate. If you need someone that is interested in being a parent someday, then don’t date anyone that does not want kids. If you are a Christian, or a believer in God, then you might not want to date an Atheist, or someone that doesn’t believe in God. Make a list of the traits, qualities and ideals that matter most so that you have a guide to use when you meet a potential partner.

Finally, keep in mind that needs change over time, so always be updating your list and make sure your expectations remain reasonable. Need helping finding that perfect match? Out matchmaker services are un paralleled.

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